


Never Fear

by Treeni



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders Has Panic Attacks, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders Needs a Hug, But he also needs saving, Claustrophobia, Even if Virgil takes some convincing, Other, PoF, Self-Doubt, Self-Worth Issues, Swearing, Sympathetic Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders, Sympathetic Dark Sides (Sanders Sides), Sympathetic Deceit | Janus Sanders, Virgil has Anxiety, Virgil sees what the audience sees, Virgil's ready to throw down, some - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-09
Updated: 2020-10-09
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:47:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,715
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26909884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Treeni/pseuds/Treeni
Summary: What if Virgil was stuck during POF? Able to observe, but not interact?What if he had an audience view?
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders
Comments: 3
Kudos: 38





	Never Fear

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys, sorry I've been absent. This past week has been... a lot. A little over a week actually. I had my first day on site for my job (I've worked for years from a distance, but there were serious employee discrepancies that I had to handle). Those discrepancies didn't get better so I had to oversee camera installations so we could get real proof of the employee's claims on in-fighting. I also was hired for a second job that is also from a distance. Neither job is a lot of hours and I get to choose those hours so its not a stress of being overburdened thing at least. Also, I started therapy for my anxiety, except the therapy's giving me anxiety atm so it's a bit of a double edged sword. But in my stress (both good and bad) I hit a major writers block. I know this isn't the FYE sequel or part of the soulmate september prompts, but I will get to those soon. I actually tried writing both of those a couple times and found myself hating everything I came up with so I basically grabbed hold of the first bit of inspiration I got.
> 
> This is... different than what else I've written. Kind of a reminder of some important things in POF that might be overlooked, even rewatching because of what we know going back vs watching it for the first time. I wondered what it must have been like for Virgil if he had seen what had been happening.
> 
> Unedited so far.

Virgil was surrounded by darkness from all sides. It was both suffocating and... and lonely.

He sat in his locked room, arms wrapped around his legs as he did his very best to space out and wait out the newest wave of anxiety. Lately he felt very much like he was drifting on a raft, barely existing between the oceanic storms that threatened to pull him under. The shadows were bending, shifting, and consuming the space of his room around him. It was all slowly creeping in from all directions, closing him in. He felt… anxious, but more. He felt claustrophobic, but of _existence_ . It was like life itself was walling him in and suddenly he had a new appreciation for the poor, lost Fortunato. Sure, Virgil’s room was always dark, it was true that creepy and unsettling things were at the core of his very nature, but there were times that it got _worse_.

This was one of those times. 

Everything was suddenly so complicated.

There was a time it had seemed so easy. When Thomas and the others thought he was the bad guy, when he thought he was the bad guy. A bad guy who did bad things for the right reasons. That was what Janus had always told him at least. And then-

And then...

And then he got to see the others. The ones who thought they were good. Who Thomas thought was good. There was the prince who stood so tall and shown so brightly that all that was left for Remus were the lengthy shadows that were cast from his brother’s light. There was the father who stifled Janus’ whispers and warnings, the assurances that Thomas was allowed to keep parts of himself, to himself. Then there was the teacher who treated every one of Virgil’s own warnings and cautions as teachers do as he filtered the questionable claims away with facts and logical processing until Virgil was all, but silenced. So yes, back then he hated them.

But that was before he got to know them.

When he arose that day to face the prince head on, Virgil quickly found the light three were exactly what he had expected. The prince was pompous and self-entitled, so very much like his brother and yet somehow so very different too. The father was inattentive and yet still believed he knew better than everyone based on his simplified ideas of righteousness. If the other two thought they knew right, the teacher was nearly insufferable with his knowledge based superiority complex, as if the amount of books he could quote alone made him infallible. But then....

Then they weren’t exactly what he thought either.

Because somewhere along the line the prince’s bullying stopped being that. It changed into something lighter, more teasing and then suddenly he was no longer the prince, but Roman. Roman who liked to hum at all hours of the day and pull Virgil in for impromptu waltzes and was always ready and armed for a pillow fight whenever they watched movies together. Roman whose fingers fluttered when he was excited and when he really smiled his eyes brightened and his face lit up and Virgil quickly found it was _impossible_ not to smile back. 

Because when he missed it, the father stopped simply assuming he was right on principle. He took a step backwards and did his best to listen and then he wasn’t the father anymore, but Patton. Patton who liked to both give and receive surprise hugs at any time and would offer his hand when Virgil started to get jittery. Patton, who gave the absolute worst gifts, but they were always full of love and who snorted when he laughed and who held the fondest, _kindest_ expressions because he always seemed overjoyed when they were together.

Because out of nowhere, the teacher started caring more about being kind, than right. The lectures lost their haughtiness and took focus into being truly helpful, filtered in a way that was considerate and suddenly he was no longer the teacher, but Logan. Logan who spent hours pouring over texts, not to find all of the answers any longer, but to find the best ones for Thomas and for all of them. Logan who began acting as an open ear whenever someone needed him to be and who liked fiction more than he wanted to admit and began to listen for Virgil’s silence in the noise of the other two and whose tiny, grateful smiles meant _everything_.

As he got to know them, Virgil realized they weren’t the malevolent sides that Janus had once made them out to be. Roman was gracious, excitable, and lived to make everyone around him smile. Patton was generous, affectionate, and was ever willing to defend those who couldn’t defend themselves. Logan was patient, considerate, and showed he cared by going out of his way to learn anything and everything he could for others. Most importantly of all though? They all tried, truly and honestly, every day to do their best for each other and Virgil got to witness their growth in person with his own eyes. Seeing it all, seeing these people and how good they all were, Virgil had come to a realization. 

Janus was wrong about them.

Virgil got to see first hand that all of his assumptions, all of his predispositions toward who he thought Thomas’ favored sides were? They were wrong.

Janus was the bad guy. He was the bad guy, who did bad things, and all of his complex reasons he constantly used to justify it all? Lies. And why was he ever surprised? Janus lying was in his nature after all.

And Virgil was the bad guy too.

But he decided then that couldn’t be a part of that anymore, he refused to keep trying to hurt them. They didn’t deserve it. Thomas deserved to live a life where he wasn’t held back from all of the great things that Roman and Patton and Logan all believed he could do. So Virgil stepped back. He left the hidden sides behind and cut himself off completely so Thomas could do everything they dreamed for him. Virgil really thought the favored sides would be able to take care of him, they were favored for a reason after all.

However, what Virgil never expected was that they would come after him. 

So when the prince, the father, and the teacher all stood in his room and claimed to need him- No. When Roman, Patton, and Logan needed him, when they called him good and important and protective, he wanted so very much to trust them. When they called him part of the famILY, he realized then that he believed it. Virgil took it seriously. He decided then to be their protector. Someone had to be.

Even if it was at his own detriment. 

Since joining the lightsides, Virgil had become more anxious than ever. He held more back, shouldering the burden of anxiety rather than inflicting it whenever he could. He tried to be a better filter for them if he was going to ever do everything they dreamed. Thomas needed more freedom from fear. It made things... difficult for Virgil. He couldn’t contribute as much, didn’t trust himself to either, but he seemed to find a balance where Thomas was doing more than he ever had before, trying things he never had and everyone seemed so happy for it. So Virgil suffered through it as silently as he could.

And then Janus showed himself.

Of course the liar would bring an entire host of new problems with him. It was just one more thing Virgil had to shoulder. Thomas's anxieties only increased each time the snake made an appearance, newly fearing himself with the mind games that Janus was playing. Each time, the shadows of fear and doubt encroached further on the dwindling space Virgil had left in his room to breathe. Thomas’ self-doubt was suddenly becoming debilitating and the bullshit pulled at the courtroom nearly left Virgil's room completely overrun with Thomas' new revelations and self-hatred.

So what if Janus was trying to make some bullshit point in the courtroom? Virgil could guess his intent behind it all. 

A sentiment that Virgil had heard many times.

 _If Thomas is good, they can’t be bad because they are a part of him._

It was one that Virgil didn't believe anymore.

Still, no matter what Janus intended, the result was that Thomas suddenly questioned his own inherent goodness, which had Virgil questioning it too. Maybe he was a bad person at the core.... The newest question was, what would he be capable of without Roman, Patton, and Logan to guide him? Thomas and Virgil feared together that they were wrong.

Alone though? Virgil feared he failed his famILY, that he wasn’t as good as they thought he was.

That he fooled them.

But that wasn't the worst of it. Virgil stood tall through the weight of anxiety under Janus' intrusions.

It was when that Remus came that Virgil buckled under his fears. 

Suddenly every dirty, dark confirmation Virgil needed sprung to life before his eyes. He could physically see what Thomas could do without the lightsides holding him back. It showed that they were dangerous without the light’s guidance. The darker parts of Thomas were harmful and suddenly he understood why they were repressed. Virgil was dangerous too. That night, as they watched nightmare after nightmare terrorize Thomas' mind, Patton shared in Virgil’s fear and they simply held each other. They basked in the comfort they could share while the pair watched Thomas’ thoughts and dreams show all of the _horrible_ things that could be. It was the confirmation Virgil needed that Janus was wrong, that he had _always been wrong_. When Janus had said they needed to be heard, to take control, well Remus had single handedly had proven that they would lead Thomas to ruin.

And just like that, the darksides won. Janus and Remus proved that Thomas wasn’t a good person and with that revaluation the divide between the sides was suddenly greater than ever. 

It’s just that Virgil didn’t know where he stood in it all.

Back in his room, Virgil felt the chittering, ever-shifting shadows of apprehension creep closer as he thought about how much the others would hate him now that they knew his origins. One of the shadows started to form tendrils, wispy things that were growing more and more solid with each new rejection he imagined. Would Patton cast him away? Would Roman call him a villian? Would Logan ignore him?

He hadn’t faced them since Remus’ appearance. He didn’t know how.

Virgil couldn’t deny to them where he came from. Even considering lying about it made him feel... wrong. The thought alone made him more anxious, but so did any thoughts of the confrontation. It would never work anyway. Remus and Janus had all but shouted it out loud to the group, even if Thomas was slow on the update, the others most certainly knew. So he admitted it.

And then he closed himself off again. It wasn’t so much out of a place of willingness this time as necessity as the shadows around him first started to grow. As the wedding approached, the dark wispy things started to whisper to him. 

_"It would be an opportunity they would never get again."_

_"Thomas' career was over."_

_"What if this is the wrong decision?"_

_"Am I doing the right thing?"_

_But what if I hurt them?"_

_"Do they need me at all?"  
_

With each whisper of fear that came, Virgil could hear the voice of the side it belonged to. He wanted... he wanted to comfort them, to let them know how good they all were, but he could barely move under the burden of it all. For Virgil, anxiety was tangible and It was slowly consuming him.

Soon he wouldn't have anything left to give.

But the wedding was today. A metaphorical light in the distance. Soon there would be nothing for Thomas to worry about because it would be over. All that would be left, would be to move forward.

Right?

But then the television turned on. A dim glow that shouldn’t have even been able to appear when the darkness around him was this overbearing, but somehow the dull illumination cut through the shifting shadows for Virgil to distantly see. It was Thomas coming back from the wedding and that realization alone let Virgil release a sigh in relief. It was over. Thomas would shower and change, then maybe binge watch cartoons until he passed out on the couch and things would be _better_ for the both of them. The calm of a new day would bring relief and they could move on. Filming was a bit of a surprise, technically Thomas mentally called for Virgil to be there too, but he still couldn’t _move_. Patton and Roman were there though. They weren’t in agreement yet, but that was okay. They’d work through it, like they always did and then rest would come.

It would be enough.

When the two started to argue in song, Virgil found he was smiling a little at the corners of his mouth despite himself, the shadows retreated just the smallest amount and Virgil was able to breathe just a little bit easier. Even if it was an argument, they both seemed so happy just to work it out in a song. They would though, wouldn't they? The loveable dweebs.

Yeah… they had this.

Except… Virgil quickly realized that... maybe they didn’t? 

“Wait a minute. Why didn't I just talk to them before the wedding?” Thomas asked with an indignant huff. 

“Hmm. I mean, mm, I kinda brought that up before, but I got shut down faster than an Antarctic ice pop shop so…” Roman replied, glancing Patton’s way. 

It was true that Patton was the one to shut that down months ago, but… he had a reason back then didn’t he? Something about inconveniencing Lee and Mary Lee. He didn't want to think too hard about it though. It wasn't like it was an option anymore, anyway.

Virgil turned back to the screen.

“Well you know, hindsight is twenty, twenty. So…” Patton trailed off. 

“Okay, but if you're a sighted person with less than twenty, twenty vision, you don't just ignore whatever you see in front of you,” Thomas said in a tone that was almost a role reversal. It was almost like _Thomas_ was the one lecturing _Patton_?

“Mm… I see. We should start looking into ways to predict the future!” Roman declared and Virgil knew that at least if Princy could still make jokes like that, he was okay. They were all okay.

Right?

The conversation went on and for the slightest moment, Patton… Patton didn’t look like Patton. He pulled his arms in tight, shifted his posture, and frowned in a way that looked so very much like….

“Janus?” Virgil asked to no one. He squinted at the screen in the corner trying to see it more clearly and despite being overburdened, despite Thomas’s guilt literally weighing him down, he was suddenly forcing his arms forward. Virgil pulled himself in a GI Joe drag forward towards the flickering television for a closer look.

If Janus was trying to mislead Thomas as Patton again-

“But in Patton's defense people are complicated fickle things, aren't they? You think you know someone and then wham! Out of nowhere, they fill your apartment with feral cats? And now your somehow responsible for the vet bills? You've got to give them away, but despite your cat allergy, you've endeared yourself to them, especially Mrs. Snuffles, - _or like Mrs. Sniffles-_ because of the allergy.”

What a time to tune back into the conversation. Was… was Roman okay? Did someone fill his room with feral cats? That analogy seemed… oddly specific to come out of somewhere. Was it Remus who did it? 

It was probably Remus.

The checklist so far. 1, Figure out if Patton was really Patton. 2, Wait out the current wave of anxiety so he could actually _do_ something. 3, Help Roman with his room that was maybe overrun with feral cats?

Refocusing on the only light source in his otherwise pitch room, Virgil felt himself relax being able to look a little closer. Patton looked… well like Patton. Cat sweater, open posture, small smile, relaxed shoulders. Patton. Virgil didn't usually have visual distortions when things got bad like this, but he couldn't say it _never_ happened. The current wave must have really been getting to Virgil this time for him to be seeing things that weren’t there. Virgil took a breath, four in, hold for seven, and out for eight. Thomas would be okay. The lightsides would be okay. _He_ would be okay too.

It took a couple tries, but Virgil managed to will the shadows back just a little bit. It was enough that he could fold his legs underneath him and reposition to be just a tiny bit more comfortable as he kept watching.

But then Patton did something else… strange.

After Roman asked, “Was not talking to them worth it, though? I don't-”

Thomas cut in with a very clear and curt, “No.” It was an absolute dismissal, something that was rare for their host, but it was hardly a wonder why, given the crumbling state of his infested room. House keeping was next on his list as soon as some of his most recent infestation met their self-care exterminator.

In that small moment though, Patton turned to Thomas with a more serious look than Virgil had ever seen the jovial side wear before. It didn’t _really_ look like Janus either… but… it couldn’t _actually_ be Patton… could it? 

Just... just more of Janus' awful acting.

Virgil closed his eyes, focusing, trying to send some of his anxious suspicion Thomas’ way without overwhelming him. Just enough for them to start to realize what Virgil had convinced himself had to be true.

“-and we can all agree that you are a good fellow,” the ‘Patton’ said.

“Can we all agree on that?” Thomas asked, staring at the fraud with new-found suspicion in his eyes. Virgil knew it would be a relief for them all once Janus was called out on his bull so they could move on to actually solving the current issue. 

Then, rest.

“Yes I c- We can all…” ‘Patton’ stuttered out and suddenly it was _just so obvious_ that it was Janus. 

_Patton_ believed Thomas was good.

“Like, let'ssss say you pass by some sort of… sssstop… where you can buy... games! A game… ssssstore.”

It… it was so glaringly evident wasn’t it? Who but the snake drew out their S’s like that? While it was a relief that neither Thomas nor Roman seemed to agree with any of the snake’s bullshit, Virgil didn’t get why they hadn’t called the snake out yet on the fact that he was Janus in disguise. Did they really not realize? The whole extra ‘dad’ shtick was so overdone it was ridiculous. Plus, with every new point out of the snake's mouth, it was like Janus was twisting every sentiment Patton had made before into it's _worst_ possible form, as if morality would ever have such sub-par standards for their host. At least both Thomas and Roman looked clearly uncomfortable by the implications. They'd eventually understand the snake's manipulations when Patton showed face.

“ _And he said ‘Gosh darnit Leslie, you’ll never work in this Razzle Dazzle town again!’”_

Like… it was so bad. Janus even referenced one of his own favorite songs and no one called him out on it. It's not as if Roman was unaware of the play _Chicago_. It must have been by a miracle alone that the prince missed it. Honestly? If Virgil wasn’t so ready to strangle the snake as soon as he was able to leave his room, he’d have laughed in his face for his poor performance. 

“You have the money and it wasn't going to something you needed. You can disagree, but I feel like it might be kinda wrong to… keep the money for yourself.”

Of _course_ it wasn’t wrong. Janus was a real tool to make it seem like Patton would _ever_ abusively guilt trip Thomas that way. He was clearly trying to corrupt everything the fatherly side tried to teach. Virgil let out an audible sigh of relief at Logan's entrance. The breath left a cold mist in his room and the sound caused one of the shadow infestations to sway curiously at him. This was getting hard to watch. Virgil was never disappointed to see Logan, but given the current discourse in the real world, it was honestly _such_ a relief when Logan popped up, even if he was in 16 bit graphics.

Who but Logic could so thoroughly shut down such atrocious lies?

The trio needed someone with sense enough to call out the snake.

“Neato! So you're making your little **_factoids_ ** optional this time around,” ‘Patton’ said and _of course_ Janus would call researched evidence, manipulative fluff.

It should have been _then_ that Logan outted Janus' whole shtick so they could get the ruse over with, but he _didn’t_. Instead, Logan acted very much… not like himself. His contributions were unusually unhelpful. It wasn’t the guided information that always had a point behind it that Logan usually provided… but baseless information. Random facts that didn’t really add to the greater conversation and certainly didn’t help Thomas in calling out Deceit or finding a solution. It… it reminded Virgil of when he had just been the _Teacher_ more than anything. The side whose only goal was to prove how smart he was.

“Not to mention, Deceit said that you'd be doing the right thing for a selfish reason if you did it for your own emotional gain,” ‘Patton’ said, and _of course_ Janus would remind them of his own points.

“And you agree?” Roman asked. Virgil was glad someone did. 

Even if Logan wasn't helping, Roman was. 

The prince had made visible strides over the course of the entire conversation to hold back some of his meaner tendencies. It was almost a shame. While Virgil was proud as heck of Roman for his effort to be kinder, a year ago this entire conversation would have been a nonstarter. There was a time that Roman wouldn't have taken that kind of manipulative bullshit, even if he did think it was _"Patton"_ saying it. Disguised or not, the snake never would have had a chance.

“Definitely, uh, maybe.”

Sure Jan.

As worried as Virgil was though? It was a tiny bit fun to watch the fraud flounder under Roman’s disagreements to his rhetoric. The snake really thought he had them all figured out.

Surprise bitch, Roman wasn’t the airhead Janus thought he was. The prince could, in fact, think for himself. It’s why Janus didn’t get his bullshit way in the courtroom and its why he wasn’t getting his bullshit way now. 

When the fake ‘Patton’ lost control of the situation, he called on Logan for help. Thankfully, as off as Logan was, he seemed to finally get a hold of himself. Rather than just pushing random informational tangents that were about as useful as the cliff notes in a play, he refocused the himself to actually make a solid contribution. Logan openly disagreed with the fraud and was just about to explain the many reasons why it was bullshit too. A tiny wave of schadenfreude coursed through Virgil at the thought. There was something funny about the manipulator getting cornered in his own lies. But just as Logan was beginning to explain the ways, an yellow and black animated “Skip All” button appeared next to Logan's dialog box.

Just… how had Janus not been called out? Did the others just miss it or something? The thing was _literally_ in Deceit's colors. It was _so obvious._ Plus, who but Janus was constantly trying to bench _Logic_? The fraud pressed the virtual square and Virgil watched a familiar weapon come around the pixilated Logan and yoink him off the screen. 

_Did they really not see that?_

Virgil was honestly going to have to come down on them for their observational skills. Honestly, did no one but him pay attention? Virgil took a breath, trying to re-center himself away from all of the terrible implication that thought started to bring. More anxiety induced by thoughts of Thomas potentially getting jumped in a random dark alleyway because he didn't pay attention was the last thing he needed right now. Focus on the wins. Janus was flailing and this bullshit would be over soon. Thomas would rest. Everything would be okay.

This _was_ honestly getting ridiculous though. Janus’ awful acting was had to be called out sooner or later. Thomas would figure it out eventually, one way or another, and then the real Patton would come and put a stop to the bullshit. Then Patton would do as he always had and use his reassurances to calm Thomas down enough that Virgil could _fucking move_ from his room again. 

After that? Snake hunting.

When the fraud went on some nonsense tangent about how Thomas not only had to give up all of his spending money, but his free time too? Virgil found himself sighing out a “Thank you” at the same time he watched Thomas do it on the screen. Logan’s reappearance _had_ to fix it. There was no way he would just let himself get booted again, not when things were this chaotic. Thomas truly needed some Logic to reflect the spiraling progression of the conversation.

“I'm sure we're all familiar with the somewhat tired metaphor for self-care-” Logan started and _finally_ he was starting to make actual sense. 

It wasn’t a jumble of random facts, but an actual driven and helpful narrative. That _yes_ Thomas could take time for himself, _yes_ he could spend money on himself. The guilt associated with not taking time for self care was _dangerous_. 

Virgil didn't dare tear his eyes away from the screen, but from the corner of his eyes he continued to keep an eye on the state of his outbreak of looming shadowy manifestations. They still crowded his room as physical reminders of their current problem. Virgil could say he knew intimately understood their current precariousness first hand. If something wasn’t done soon, Virgil wasn’t certain how much longer he could keep them all at bay alone.

“-and Patton is essentially suggesting that Thomas isn't being as good of a person as he'd like him to be if he doesn't sacrifice his life for others,” Logan finished and Virgil was grateful for it.

Finally, someone was shutting him down.

Even if no one called out the snake on his terrible impersonation of Patton, at least Logan knew how to derail his arguments.

“WHOA!! That is- that is not what I said!” The fraud defended and Virgil rolled his eyes.

_Terrible acting._

Except-

“Oh, is it not? Please, correct me if I'm wrong,” Logan said… and his point might have been right but his voice was _wrong_ and... 

…and Virgil _knew that voice._

Janus wasn’t Patton.

He was Logan.

The ‘Logan’ that had suddenly been so helpful.

From there Virgil could only stare in horror as Patton, _the real Patton who had been there that whole time and said all of those horrible things_ , lost control of himself. 

And Thomas’ only defense was the slimy snake.

The one who had made so much sense… Virgil was reeling. He just… he didn’t know what to make of it all. What to think? Patton was supposed to be _good_ . He encouraged Thomas to be good and defended Virgil, but… he was _hurting_ Thomas with all of those doubts and Virgil worried that his room would never be free of his new infestation.

The shock that Janus was playing Logan was enough to drawl Virgil's full attention as he watched a verbal battle manifest into a physical one. It was enough of a distraction that the shadowy figures around Virgil started to circle around him and take advantage of his distraction. One whispy tendril whipped at his side, knocking Virgil to the floor. Just as he tried to push himself up to attempt to regain control of the feral, _ravenous_ creatures, a second struck him in the back forcing him back down. He was loosing.

Still, even from his position on the floor, Virgil hadn't quite lost sight of the screen. Maybe it was his distraction that was causing him to falter, but he couldn't bring himself to look away.

And then.... _Patton attacked Thomas_. 

And then there was nothing.

Nothing but darkness, because the shadows had won. 

Virgil had been overtaken by the things that he would be able to hold back no longer. He wasn't even certain he would continue to exist after the things had their way revenging Thomas' mind. They would eat and eat and eat away and anything and everything that they could reach. There would be no more hopes, no more dreams, no more love or friends. 

It was over.

Just... just for a moment, in that pit of all encompassing nothingness, Virgil had a vision. It was... someone to Thomas. It was his mom, but then it shifted to his dad, then to his teacher, then to his uncle. It continued to shift from adult to adult that universally loomed over Thomas' much _much_ smaller frame. 

And then it was Patton. He stared down with a waggled out a chorus of voices that yelled out, “Because I said so!”

As fast as the figure had emerged, it dissipated once more and suddenly Virgil could move. 

Gone were the looming physical manifestations of Thomas' despair and while Virgil's room was always, _always_ dark, a hint of light streamed in from between the curtains of one of the windows. It was brighter than it had been in there in _months_. Maybe more. 

“I really don't know what I'm talking about,” Patton said. “I can't not know.”

“Patton, what are you saying? We can still beat him.” Roman declared. “We've beaten him before!”

Oh Princy… no… _not you too_. 

Roman had worked so hard to curb himself. He had truly gone out of his way all video to stop himself from saying anything mean, even when _Thomas_ _didn’t_. 

He couldn't give up _now_.

Logan did eventually make his way back and Virgil’s stomach curled when the logical side agreed _with Janus_ … even if he seemed begrudging about it. Sure, they were right, but Virgil didn’t have to _like_ it.

“Don't... Don't try to flatter me, snake!” Roman declared. Virgil wanted to agree, he wanted to cheer him on and take his side, but… but god was Roman reminding him so much of the Prince he once was in that moment.

So much for progress.

“I don't need to flatter you now, Roman. I mean this. You, in particular, made a significant sacrifice when you sentenced Thomas to attend the wedding instead of the callback. That was a costly choice. Thomas lost a huge opportunity and a good amount of mental health points in the name of being there for his friends-”

It _hurt_ how right Janus was. He was _supposed_ to be wrong. The bad guy. Virgil was _supposed_ to have this figured out! And yet, as he continued to watch, he saw Roman shaking his head and glaring through every point Janus made. 

“-what's to stop you from telling us that we've done enough good for others when maybe we could do more. _Oh, Thomas dropped a dime in a Saint Jude charity box. What a good boy you are,_ _Thomas_. Nay, I say! We are ethically compromised if we give the Bananaconda a seat at the table!” Roman preached. 

And in that moment Janus had officially won, because it was clear that despite what Virgil had believed, about how good the light sides were? They were bad too. Or, at least they _could be_. They still embodied all of the bad traits that Virgil had thought he was mistaken to associate with them. Janus had been right. Roman _could_ be a bully, Logan _could_ be insufferable, and Patton _could_ be overbearing.

So what did that mean for the darksides?

“I don’t think we are,” Thomas said to Roman and Virgil found himself grinding his teeth as his room grew just a little bit brighter. His room was a fucking _traitor._

And as good of a sign it all was for Thomas, Virgil’s personal anxieties were worse than ever. 

He couldn't really trust this, could he?

“My name… my name is Janus.”

“Janice?!” Roman asked, mockingly laughing and Virgil winced, remembering his own name reveal. It hurt a little, but they had moved past it. Except, there was a clear difference between the situations. Virgil had defenders when Roman laughed and Roman had apologized. Janus? He had no one. “What are you a middle school librarian? It’s a stupid name.”

“Roman, thank god you don't have a mustache. Otherwise, between you and Remus, I wouldn't know _who_ the evil twin is!” Janus replied and Virgil glared at the screen. 

Because somehow taunting the lightsides was proving how “good” Janus was. 

Okay, so maybe the lightsides weren’t fully good, but like fuck if Janus was either. 

Virgil tried not to think too much about why he was suddenly uninhibited, or who had given him that freedom of movement suddenly, but like _hell_ if he wasn’t going to use it some get some answers. 

And he knew just who to ask too. 

Without even another glance at the screen Virgil stood and for the first time in months he made his way out of his room. He didn't need to watch any more. He could guess where things were going and he had places to be.

He scour every inch of the imagination to get the answers he needed if he had to. He had a side to find.

Who better to give him the answers he needed, but the one side that never lied?

**Author's Note:**

> I dunno if this is any good, and its definitely different than what I usually write, but it's been a struggle to get myself to write and post anything at all these past few days.... So yeah, this story's a big reminder that the audience had false clues dangled in front of them purposefully. We were meant to think that Patton was Deceit in disguise for most of the video, there were a ton of little visual and auditory clues to drive us that way and mislead the audience. This is a big, 'what if' in the sense of, what if Virgil was misled too?
> 
> I really wanted to get this idea done and out there before the next asides video. It might even give some perspective.
> 
> Just a reminder that Janus is my favorite side, so all of the ragging on him here isn't really my own beliefs.


End file.
